What's Yaoi?
by InsertSomethingClever
Summary: Something some people say makes Remus curious so he goes to Sirius to find out what it means. Not he really has a choice. SiriusxRemus


Hey, it's been a while hasn't it? Ah well.

Anyway, this story is dedicated to Kanabi for her birthday. Happy b-day!

**Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER! Or it's characters.**

If I did, you would know, because Sirius would have come back and he and Remus would have snogged senseless. So sad.

* * *

"Kyah! Remus, it's just too cute!"

Remus paused from packing his book bag to look up and raise an eyebrow.

"What is too cute Alice?" He asked warily. Honestly, it had been a long day. He had a lot of homework from Potions (his worst subject), he had to stop his friends on wreaking havoc on the school populous (now it seems like he should have let them), and to top it off, Peter ate the last of his chocolate.

When he least expects it, he'll pay. No one eats his chocolate.

"You!" Alice White squealed looking at him adoringly. Remus stepped back quickly with a blush. "W-What?" he asked feeling as if he heard wrong.

"Yes, you are just too cute! Perfect, I'd say," Krysa Nightly, one of Alice's friends, commented as she came up, looking Remus over. His eyes widened a fraction and he looked at the two as if they were crazy.

They were, don't get me wrong. Totally crazy. But still.

"Told you didn't I? This is my area of expertise after all," Lily Evans, the last of the trio, said smugly as she joined them.

'Area of expertise?' Remus thought, 'What in Godric's name is she talking about?'

"Lily, I don't mean to be rude but… what the hell are you going on about?" he asked. Ah yes, this is what you get when Moony hasn't had his daily chocolate.

Lily smirked, Krysa smiled, and Alice giggled.

"Remus, Remus, Remus," Krysa began shaking her head. "You have so much to learn."

"What do you mean?" Remus asked suspiciously.

"I mean it's sad," Lily continued as if he hadn't spoken, "that we know of one of the greatest things ever and you don't."

"Which is?"

Lily looked at Krysa who looked at Alice who looked at Remus who looked…well at them.

"Yaoi!" All three girls chorused cheerfully.

After a few seconds Remus cocked his head and asked, "What?"

Alice giggled and glomped the teen. "You are so much cuter when you're like that! If I didn't absolutely love yaoi, I would go after you myself!"

That wasn't exactly comforting to hear from a mental person.

"And you're an adorable uke," Krysa added brightly as she pushed her glasses off the bridge of her nose.

That still didn't answer his question. Plus now he wanted to know what a uke is.

"Don't' forget that Sirius would be seme," Lily reminded the other two. They nodded seriously before they all let out a dreamy sigh.

"Sirius would be the perfect seme," Krysa sighed dreamily again. "Yeah, perfect," Alice agreed in the same manner.

"What does Sirius have to do with anything?" Remus asked in confusion.

Lily narrowed her green eyes and Remus took another step back.

"What does Sirius have to do with anything?" she repeated slowly in a deadly tone. Remus nodded his head once.

"Sirius," Krysa said like Lily, "has everything to do with this conversation. Without Sirius, there would be no yaoi."

"And without yaoi," Alice spoke up in that scary voice that was very uncharacteristic of her, "we would not be happy. You wouldn't want that now would you Remus? For us to be unhappy?"

Slowly Remus shook his head. No, he wouldn't want a bunch of mentally insane teenage girls to be unhappy. If that were to happen, no one would be happy.

"Good. Sirius is the seme and you are the uke. One cannot exist without the other," Krysa explained matter-of-factly. "It is a universal law. That's what Sirius has to do with this."

"So…Sirius is my seme?" Remus asked raising his eyebrow again. "And I'm his uke?"

"Yes! Yes Remus, you understand!" Lily bounced up and down excitedly and the other two squealed with happiness. "You finally understand how yaoi works!"

"Yes, but what is yaoi? You haven't told me that yet," Remus reminded them.

All three girls looked at each other before turning on his, grinning mischievously.

"Well cute little Remus," Alice said, "We're not going to tell you."

"You're not," Remus stated dryly.

"Nope!" Krysa chirped. "Not going to tell you."

"But," Lily interjected with an innocent look, "I know someone who could."

"Well, who is it?" Remus asked impatiently. Those three had really gotten him curious about this yaoi thing they keep talking about.

"Just go ask Sirius."

"Sirius knows?"

"Yep, he sure does," Krysa nodded.

"Does he also know that he's a seme and I'm a uke?"

"Oh, you bet," Alice said with a bright smile.

"I guess I'll go ask him then," Remus told them, giving them strange looks.

"He's probably down in the Great Hall eating dinner," Lily supplied helpfully. "Oh, and if he won't tell you, say that you'll go ask Snape."

"Alright. See you later." Remus gave a sigh, threw his book bag over his shoulder, and walked out the common room.

After he left, the three girls high-fived each other.

* * *

"James, knut's aren't meant to go that far up someone's nose," Sirius sighed and took a bite from his potatoes. "It won't work."

"Yes it will!" James whined banging his fist on the table lightly. "It will! I've got a full proof way for it to work."

"Which would be?" Peter asked cautiously from his right.

"We use magic!"

Sirius and Peter both stared at him. After a few moments Sirius snorted and went back to his food.

"What?" James asked defensively. "I thought it was brilliant."

"Oh, yes. 'We use magic'," Sirius snorted again. "It's easy to see that more than six years of magical education hasn't gone to waste on you."

"What do you mean?" James asked looking between the two.

"James, we're wizards that play pranks impossible for muggles. Of course we use magic!"

"Oh. Right then, nevermind," James rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Even I knew that one," Peter muttered.

James stuck his tongue at him before quickly puling it back in with a dreamy smile on his face. Sirius followed his gaze and rolled his eyes: Lily Evans had just walked by with her two friends. They were grinning too, like maniacs. Strange girls…

"How in the world did they get here before me? I left before them," a quiet, melodic voice asked from behind him. Sirius felt his heart beat faster and he turned around as causally as he could.

The fourth marauder, Remus, was standing behind Sirius looking perplexedly at the trio of girls.

"Hey Moony," Sirius greeted hoping he didn't sound too happy.

"Hey Remus," Peter greeted cheerfully.

"Remmie," James said looking away from Lily.

"Hello Sirius," Remus said with a smile that made Sirius's heart even faster. "Peter. James," he rounded on the other two with a glare. "I still haven't forgotten."

"B-But James told me to! He said that it was a gift to me!" Peter cried pointing at James accusingly.

"Hey! I did no such thing Wormtail," James cried back pointing as well. "I love you Moony, you know I would never take away your beloved chocolate!"

The glare did not diminish.

"I guess that I'm the only one that truly loves Remus," Sirius sighed dramatically, throwing his arm over Remus's shoulder. Ha! There, he said it. He said that he loved him. It would be so perfect if he said it more seriously.

"I love you too Padfoot," Damn that speedy heartbeat! "But right now I've got to ask you something."

Sirius let him go and reached for his pumpkin juice. "Ask away dear Moony, ask away," he told the other before he took a drink.

"What's yaoi?"

And promptly spit it out.

"W-What did you say?" he asked, ignoring his protesting and dripping friends opposite him, with wide eyes.

"I asked you what yaoi is," Remus told you slowly, raising an eyebrow at his reaction.

"Who told you that word?" Sirius demanded fiercely. How the hell did Remus know that word?!

"Well, Lily, Krysa, and Alice told me. Is it a bad thing?" he asked carefully.

Sirius whipped around to glare at the girls who were unashamedly staring back eagerly. "No, it's not a bad thing," Sirius said trying to glare harder.

"Oh, then you'll tell me what it is?"

"No, actually I don't think I'm the best person to tell you," he said with a grin. Merlin knows how his hormones would act.

"Alright then. I guess I'll just go ask Snape," Remus said already turning around in his seat.

"No!" His hand shot out before he knew it and brought the werewolf to face him. "I'll tell you!"

"Really? Well, will you also tell me what a seme and a uke is?"

"Who," Sirius bit out glaring again at the trio, "did they say was the uke and who was the seme?"

"They told me that I'm the uke and you're my seme," Remus told him. "What does that mean?"

James, who had long since grown tired of being ignored, looked at the two mischievously. "Remus is Sirius's uke?" Oh, it paid off now having to learn Japanese.

"Sod off James."

"Fine," he sniffed before returning to gaze lovingly at Lily.

"So what is it?" Remus questioned. "You don't know how infuriating it is not to know this."

"Well yaoi is…um…you see," Sirius trailed of. How was he supposed to do this? Was there any type of guide that explained how to tell your crush these kinds of things?

Wait…tell…-! Sirius got a brain fart.

"Actually I think I'll show you. But before that let me tell you this: You are my uke and I'm your only seme."

Remus cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean show me-?"

He felt his breath hitch as Sirius cupped his face, the other's face now blank. Slowly and carefully, he brought his face closer until finally he brushed his lips against Remus' before pulling away.

Remus stared at him, not pushing or pulling away. Sirius's heart beat faster and he leaned in again. He was met half way and Remus shyly pressed his lips against his own. The kiss was soft and sweet, though the best Sirius ever had.

All too soon, Remus broke away and gave him a small smile. "So that was yaoi?" he asked softly. Sirius gave a deep chuckle before shaking his head. "That was shonnen-ai," he answered seeing the confused look on his Moony's- that's right _his_- face.

"Then what's yaoi?"

Sirius stood up and grabbed Remus's hand. "What are you doing?" Remus asked blushing cutely.

"I'm going to show you what yaoi is," Sirius grinned and dragged a blushing Remus out of the Great Hall.

* * *

Back in the Great Hall…

Lily, Krysa, and Alice all squealed in delight. "Excellent job ladies," Lily congratulated.

"Yes, not only are we not going to be entertained, but we helped two people realize they like each other. Actually one, because Sirius already knew," Krysa added as an after thought.

"Now we get to see yaoi!" Alice giggled. The three girls high-fived each other before looking down and continuing to draw their doushijn.

James sighed dreamily. His future wife sure was beautiful when she meddled in people's lives in order to make sure she was happy.

* * *

I've had this idea pretty much written up for a while, I just haven't finished it until a few minutes ago. My friend says I write too much SiriusxRemus fics, so I think I'm going to try and write other types as well. Plus these. Cause the're fun. I already have an idea. I just love them!

Reviews make the world turn (not literally...), unless they're flames for this being yaoi. If you don't like yaoi, you shouldn't have read a story called 'What's Yaoi?'. I'm sorry to say, that wasn't very bright of you. See you later!

InsertSomethingClever


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